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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 06:12
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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
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Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
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If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
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Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
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I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
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Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
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Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
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You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
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Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
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Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
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Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
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A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
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Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
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Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
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I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
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Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
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If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
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The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
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Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
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Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
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Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
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Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 22:11
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